The fact that people continue to smoke
cigarettes defies logic, given the enormous amount of harm it
does to an individual. Similarly, people who are overweight
continue along their current path despite the frequent new
studies about the dangers of being overweight. There is an
obesity epidemic in America -- clearly there is more than just
too many french fries going on for these individuals.
"Agreed," say life coaches
Lauren Zander and Meredith Haberfeld, principals of the
Personal Evolution Group (www.handelgrouppc.com),
who spoke with me about why people are not dealing with the
very real danger that excess weight presents. According to
them, the situation of too many pounds isn't a matter of yet
another diet. "It isn't about cheesecake," said
Lauren. Rather it is about individuals who do not feel proud
of themselves in general, be it their bodies or their station
in life, which in turn makes them feel like they cannot
control their lives nor do anything to change the situation.
Lauren and Meredith work with their clients to help them
understand that they indeed are the only ones in control of
their bodies and their lives and they can lose weight once
they understand what is driving them to eat unhealthfully in
the first place.
LEARN THAT YOU CAN
TAKE CHARGE
Having what you want in all areas of
your life is about integrity, or doing what you say you will
do. Food is just one measurable example of the bigger picture.
Interestingly, learning to keep your word with regard to what
you do or do not eat and whether or not you control your
weight is a building block to all of your other dreams. When
you learn to honor your body you will also learn to honor the
other hopes and dreams you have in your life, since, as you
will see, being at a healthy weight is simply another item on
a person's list of hopes and dreams.
The first step in losing weight,
therefore, is to take ownership of your choice to lose weight
and of your body. There is some number on the scale and an
image you want to see when you look in the mirror that will
delight you. This is not based on what other people think --
it is the number on the scale and the way of looking that
makes you happy. Not achieving these goals holds back your
self-confidence.
Step two, says Lauren, is for a person
to accept the body that he/she was given -- and work with it.
"Many people actually separate themselves mentally from
their body because they feel they "got stuck" with
the one they have, rather than having had a choice in getting
the one they would have preferred," explains Lauren.
The problem is exacerbated by a more
general resentment about being stuck with life and having had
no choice or control about that either. The way these
"victims" express their resentment is through
resistance, breaking rules like teenagers who act out. You
hear this all the time in attitudes of "who cares,"
"have another drink" and, for our purposes here,
"but I like doughnuts." By numbing themselves
through thoughtless eating, people further separate themselves
from their bodies.
MAKING THE SHIFT
The question to ask yourself, then, is
this: What number and picture do you carry in your mind?
Remember, that number is the number that makes you feel great
and confident -- it is not about being a cover model. It's
crucial when you answer this to be absolutely honest -- no
attempts to deny or justify why you aren't there. Then, once
you have your number and image, it must become a part of your
life, much like brushing your teeth is a part of your life.
This is not about dieting, it is about
making a promise to yourself and learning to keep that
promise. Making promises to yourself and keeping them is the
foundation for having what you want in every area of your
life. Food and diet is a relatively easy and visible place to
practice making these promises to yourself. This is not a
superficial gesture, Lauren emphasizes, because reaching your
weight goal shows you that you can meet your own ideal.
In fact, weight loss is a particularly
dramatic act because it is such visible evidence that shows
change is possible and that you can affect it. So, each day
you brush your teeth and you follow your food promises. If you
break your food promises, look at the excuses you told
yourself as to why you chose to eat dessert or have a second
helping and then go back and reaffirm the weight you intend to
be and how you are going to get there.
Of course making these promises are
easier said than done. It takes considerable focus and effort
and many find they are better able to do this by working with
a life coach or other professionals who understand food
addiction and weight issues.
In particular, Meredith explains that
successful weight loss also requires investigating your
dysfunctional relationship with food. All overweight people
have a personal history with food that they've turned into a
running saga, she says, a character-filled drama that goes
back to childhood and sticks in memory with perpetual thorns.
Your task now is to dislodge these
thorns, watching for how you connect other people to your food
choices, which in turn gives it disproportionate power over
your life. As an example, rather than admitting that you are
choosing to eat oversized portions, you may connect eating
with being safe.
By seeing the saga you have been living
in, you can then see that you are not just a character in your
drama -- you are in fact its author. And, most important, you
are now free to construct a new life for yourself. You can
dismantle the old stories that were never true and create new
ones about the role food plays in your life, creating positive
associations with the right foods and no longer
"medicating yourself" with the wrong ones.
Once you accept and embrace being the
one in charge, you are ready to get down to the business of
reaching your weight-loss goal. Lauren advises starting small.
Set a few new rules each week. For the first week, for
example, you might limit bread and desserts to no more than
twice a week. Next you might eliminate them completely and add
in more fruits and vegetables, and so on.
Throughout, however, keep a list of what
you are eating. This will make you more mindful about your
choices and help you spot potential problem areas. People who
have more than 20 pounds to lose may need to get a coach or
join a group such as Greysheet, a branch of Overeaters
Anonymous, says Lauren. She recommends it as an excellent,
though admittedly intense, way to overcome personal food
addictions.
Being in charge of being in a body you
love is win-win in every way. Lauren reports that people find
having accomplished it makes everything get better. Besides
improving your health, it energizes your confidence and
understanding that you can do well for yourself. Once that is
in motion, she adds, it carries over to the other areas of
your life. If you start to measure how much you suffer because
you don't love your body, you understand this is about
happiness, not dieting.
Be well,
Carole Jackson
Bottom Line's Daily Health News
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