Time and again I find myself writing about the importance of a healthful lifestyle in creating good health. Exercising, eating well and emotional satisfaction all contribute to that healthful lifestyle. Of course achieving this requires effort, a thoughtful approach and, sometimes, the advice and observations of an expert. Lauren H. Zander, founder and chairman of Personal Evolution, is one such expert -- a life coach and consultant who specializes in helping people achieve their goals in life, no matter how big or small.

With the continuous rise of illness rooted in emotional health and lifestyle decisions, it is important to not just write about the need to change, but also to provide you with the tools to make that change possible. So, I will be talking to Lauren each month about ways to make the right choices to positively influence your health. For starters, we look at the issue of discipline. Remember all those New Year's resolutions long since forgotten? Or the diets started and stopped? Or the smoking habit you were going to quit? How do you keep those promises to yourself so you can be proud of your accomplishments rather than shamed by failure?

DISCIPLINARY MEASURES

Before figuring out how to make all those changes, you need to understand why promises are not kept. According to Lauren, it's simply a lack of discipline. Much like discipline teaches children self-control, discipline similarly gets us to the gym three or four days a week or out for a walk even when it's raining. It's what prompts us to reach for the fruit instead of cake... what has us dialing our parents or children every week even when we're busy... what reminds us to be a loving spouse whether we feel like it or not. In short, personal discipline is what we must practice to make our dreams a reality and what gets us out of making excuses for what we "should have done" once and for all.

NOT AS HARD AS YOU THINK

The key to our lack of discipline, says Lauren, is the big lie that we tell ourselves about it. Most people believe that to be disciplined is hard -- really hard. But what, she asks, is so hard about not putting sugar in your mouth if you know it upsets your stomach, or turning off the computer to keep from spending mindless hours on the Internet, or taking three or four minutes to give your spouse a warm hello? While it makes logical sense, why do so many people fail in their attempts at making disciplined choices?

Lauren acknowledges that the process of discipline is challenging, but the problem is much deeper than that. Our culture is complaint focused instead of solution and action focused, which keeps people from dealing with personal issues in any kind of concrete way. People whine and complain about problems or behaviors, but they don't energize themselves to correct them. Instead they listen to other people whine and complain and together they commiserate on how hard it all is. Nonsense, says Lauren, it's time to recognize the bratty teenager who dwells in all of us and says, "you can't make me," "I don't want to," "it's not fair." Our inner teen prefers to be lazy about life instead of growing up and behaving the way adults are meant to and in a way that creates a genuinely happy and fulfilled life.

To soothe feelings of failure about their lack of discipline, people tell themselves stories. They cling to how bad such lack of discipline makes them feel, says Lauren. In fact, it does make them feel terrible and you'll even hear them say things such as, "I just hate it when I do that but I can't help myself." Lauren observes that this pattern has become so entrenched in our communal thinking that we've turned it into a silent addiction. But feeling bad doesn't get anyone off the hook. It's "dumb, blind trap" that people use to convince themselves they are stuck and can't make change no matter how much they yearn to do so.

THE ACT OF DISCIPLINE

Once you realize the stories you're telling yourself about how hard it is to be disciplined, you are then ready to move on. Lauren explains that the act of discipline is about keeping your word. It's important to recognize that with every act of discipline you make -- even something as simple as getting up early enough to arrive on time at work -- you are behaving in keeping with your promises to yourself and to others. You may not feel like getting up, but because your personal integrity is stronger than the whiny voice inside, you do it. The same holds true for the exercise you promised to do or the dietary changes you promised to make.

Lauren suggests taking this realization to evaluate what areas in your life you want (or need) to improve. Do you need to lose weight to improve your health? Exercise? Stop eating foods that aggravate your allergies? Or do you need to work on your relationship with your spouse or children to improve your emotional health?

• Listen to what you are telling yourself and recognize it for the excuse it is.
• Make a log of personal promises.
• Include what actions you choose to take and what behaviors you are walking away from.

In the early stages it may be difficult to see your own excuses. Consequently, you may find it helpful to work with a close confidant on this process. This person can help you recognize the sham of your excuses and will also know the promises you are making to yourself. People become more accountable when someone else is watching over their shoulders.

By incorporating discipline into your life and keeping your behavior in line with your personal integrity you will finally have become in charge of your own life and that, says Lauren, is what life is about. Once you take over, she adds, you'll see how great your life can be.

Be well,

Carole Jackson
Bottom Line's Daily Health News

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